Did Your Mate Leave You for Someone Else?
Feeling Hurt Angry and Betrayed?
How to Deal With Painful Separation
There is certainly no magic wand you can wave, that will
automatically allow you to get over a painful separation within
moments or days! In fact, it's not easy to be detached from
someone whom you have been attached to for quite some time.
Like I have said before, there is no easy way out! However, I do
have a few suggestions that might help you to gradually ease the
pain.
First, cry if you must, and pour out all that initial pain in the form of tears, it's therapeutic! Secondly, try not to be alone. Find a friend, a family member or an associate to talk to. If you have no friends or family, you may sign up for an account with at least one of the many social network(ex. Facebook) There is always someone out there who wants to chat or would like to be your friend. Do not take off from work, unless you really have to. If you are unemployed, try to stay busy. You can go to the movie or the mall and so on. Always try to be in the midst of some company.
Avoid going places where you guys usually frequent a lot, as this will only brings back memories. Don't have any of his/her belongings hanging around your place. You shouldn't continue to read those emails or cards he/she had sent you in the past. I don't recommend love songs, they will make you cry unstoppable. Listen to uplifting songs only. Focus on the negative characteristics of this person, rather than the appealing ones. Look for all the faults or body defects, surprisingly! these might turn you off. Remember it might take a bit of time, so hang on! Don't give up on yourself. Be confident, things will turn around in your favor.
Resorting to Physical Acts of Violence
You could also find the person who had helped to destroy your relationship and 'beat the crop" out of that person! Too bad, this will not work. This is one approach that I will not condone. Resorting to physical acts of violence to settle any issue whatever, is something I am strongly against. Not only can this cause you to end up in jail, but it might also cause you your life or the other person's life. What good is this? Remember the love story about "Romeo and Juliet"? Romeo met this girl Roselle, and it was love at first sight. Romeo taught that she was everything to him. However, when he met Juliet, he realized that he was wrong. In fact, when he compared them both, he referred to Roselle as a crow and Juliet a swan.
Some People However, Resort to Other Means:
If you believe in God, pray to God for his divine intervention, prayer works, but you have to first believe it works. Secondly, you have to have faith. It might take a little while, but things will work out just fine in the end. "Faith is the substance of all things hoped for, the evidence of things not yet seen." Remember God is a fair and just God and he listens to everyone when they call on him in the time of needs. If your partner mistreated you, left you for someone else even though you were good to him and did nothing wrong, he will be repaid with in own coin some day to come. If you believe in 'Karma" what goes around comes around!
Relationship Violence -- Are You a Victim?
If in case you are currently a victim of relationship violence, I insist that you do something about it right now, before it gets too late. You don't have to take it. Yes, I said it, you don't have to! You deserve far much better than this.
My advice to you, as soon as you detect any slight indication of verbal abuse, raise that flag, because this is usually how it started, first verbal then it escalates into physical abuse. Pay attention, and watch for it early, so that you don't have to suffer those serious consequences of Relationship Violence.
Based on statistics, about 1 in every 10 women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime. Also, 85% of domestic violence victims are women. Statistical findings for the year 1995-1996 also revealed that in the 50 states and the District of Columbia, nearly 25% of women and 7.6%men were raped or physically assaulted by a current or former spouse. Please note that help is available.There are lots of resources available for victims of Domestic violence. You can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline (local referrals, including LGBT-sensitive) at 800-799-SAFE(7233) (24hrs in English and Spanish); TDD: 800-787-3224
*LGBT = Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
INFORMATION SHARING CENTER
For The Body Soul And Mind
Prayer
A.Tension Building
He isolates her, puts her down, yells, threatens, destroys property, criticizes her. He denies responsibility for his actions by blaming the tension on her, the job, the traffic, getting drunk, or anything else but his own behavior.
She tries to calm him down, keeps the children quiet, agrees with him, withdraws, tries to reason with him, prepares his favorite meals. Now she feels like she is walking on eggshells. She takes all precautionary measures to avoid getting him upset.
B.Acute Explosion-- The Battering Incident
He slaps, chokes, humiliates, imprisons, rapes, beats, verbally abuses her. He blames it on her, stress, his being unemployed, etc. ("She had it coming.")
She protects herself in whatever way she can. She tries to reason, leaves, and even tries to fight back.
C.Honeymoon
He begs her to forgive him, promises her he will get counseling, sends her flowers, swears he will never do it again. He tells her that he wants to make love and that he will be enlisting in family support. He even cries. At this point she tries to minimize the injuries by saying it could have been worse, and agrees to take him back. She stops all legal proceedings, stops counseling for him. Now she is feeling happy and hopeful, but not before long, the cycles repeat!
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Breakingup -- Leaving A Stressful Relationship
If You Don't Know How You Got There In The first Place It's Going to Be Rather Difficult For You To Find Your Way Out!
If you don't not know why you got with that woman in the first place, you going to have a rather difficult time getting out of that relationship! However, if you are able to tell what caused you to fall for her in the first place, then it will be much easier for you to leave.
Questions You Might Want To Ask Youreslf
Why Did You Decide To Pursue a Relationship with Her?
- Was it becuse she had a nice butt and some great boobs?
- Was it because you were lonely and needed some company?
- Are you the type of guy that feels like you cannot be alone and therefore, has to have someone around you all the time...clingy type?
- Was it a rebound situation?
- Was she lonely and needed someone to talk to and you felt sorry for her and took here under your wings?
- Was she a friend that you turned into a lover or vice-versa?
- Was she the one who was a cheater, liked to argue unnecessarily, liked to have her own ways, but pursued you and turned you into her lover with great sex and nothing else to offer?
- Started off as casual sex with no intention of staying but the sex was great so you continue going back for more and before you knew you became addicted?
- Was she a woman who had wonderful personalities, ambitious, motivated, intelligent, classy, high values and morals?
- Was she a woman who had a wonderful heart, loving, genuinely cared about you, motivated you, honest, unselfish, kind, trustworthy, always there for you when you needed her, stood by your side in good times and bad times, forgiving etc.
If you can go through these 10 above questions there is a possibility you might find the reason or reasons you fell for this woman in the first place. Beyond all reasonable doubts, this will certainly put you at an advantage when it is time for you to say goodbye! If you are unable to identify any of the above as the reason or reasons you fell for her in the first place;do a little brainstorming...kind of going back to your past and you might come up with a reason. However, if you still can't come up with a reason, then it's going be rather difficult for you to let her go! Nonetheless you can, but the question is how?
Why Am I Going To Be At An Advantage If I know The Reason I Fell For This Woman and Continue to Fall For Her? Think about it!
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It's important that one knows his/her partner's background or even the person who you are doing business with,before getting deeply involved. Just don't take his/her words, do your own thorough investigation before it's too late!
Are You a Victim of Learned Helplessness?
4/21/10
For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term "Learned Helplessness", in brief, it's a term that was first introduced by psychologist in animal psychology. To demonstrate a state of Learned Helplessness an experiment was done using dogs as subjects. Dogs were placed in an enclosed area. They were left with no escape route. Electrical shocks were then administered to these animals. Each time the shocks were administered they would try to escape the torture but could not, because there was no route of escape.
Overtime, they made no effort to escape when the shocks were administered, because they came to realize that there was no way out. Eventually, the gates were open. They were now given the opportunity to flee from the torture. However, they stood and bore the torture. They did not make the slightest effort to flee or escape.
To summarize, after several attempts were made to escape from an unpleasant situation or experience, the dogs finally quit trying, because they have become accustomed to it. They have come to accept the unpleasant experience as a way of life -- something that they have now learned to live with. This animal psychology was later applied to human psychology, in cases where human-beings have learned to accept unpleasant situations or circumstances in life, even thou they have control over them.
For example, in the case of most relationships where the battered, abused or constantly mistreated party refuses to walk away from the endless nightmares, even though he/she had several opportunities to leave. Instead, those individuals choose to accept the battering, cheating, verbal abuse, physical abuse and other mistreatments as a normal part of their relationship. It appears as if they have become desensitized to the physical and mental anguish overtime!
Abusive Relationship -- The Usual Trend[TAH]
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Sexual Disorder - Learn The Real Causes And If/When Can Viagra Help
A man’s inability to satisfy his partner sexually along with constant arguments over money, are two of the primary reasons for conflicts and breakdown in most relationships.
While quite often, if both persons work together they can easily find a solution to resolve a conflict relating to financial issues. Contrarily, when it comes to a man’s inability to satisfy his partner due to sexual disorder, it might certainly takes a lot more to fix this.
Sexual Disorder refers to any issues that persistently prevents a person from engaging in sexual intercourse. For the man, this can be extremely devastating, and he will need an understanding and supportive woman to help him through this.
Sometimes a person may be unable to be sexually aroused due to the following reasons:
- Tiredness
- Being too drunk
- Conflicts between partners
- Personal conflicts
- Stress(At home or on the job or other life‘s situation)
- Preoccupied with other thoughts(something else on the mind)
- Fear of Failure
- Having prior disappointing sexual experience (ex. A person may have one disappointing sexual experience before and begin to wonder about his sexual inadequacy. This anxiety can inhibit the next sexual encounter, thus confirming the person’s self-doubts and virtually guaranteeing continued difficulty.
Other factors include certain health conditions such as severe diabetes, hypertension, depression and also certain prescription drugs, such as the following:
Hypertensive drugs(B-blockers ex. Propranol, Phenoxybenz amine, Phentolamine)
Antidepressant Drugs(ex. Fluoxetine, one of the most widely used prescribed antidepressant in the U.S)
Neuroleptic Drugs(also called antischizophrenic drugs, antipsychotic drugs or tranquilizers ex. Haloperidol, Thiothixene, Risperidene etc)
As defined in my medical texts, erectile dysfunction(ED) is a common disorder in male. It’s the inability to achieve or maintain an erection. Some texts even break in down further into two distinct categories: (A)When an erection has never been achieved, the condition is called primary erectile disorder. (B)When he has had effective erections in the past, but now has problems in certain situations, the condition is known as secondary erectile disorder.
Viagra(Sildenafil Citrate)
Sildenafil is indicated for the treatment of erectile dysfunction in men due to organic or psychogenic causes. When taken it causes the production of Nitric Oxide. Nitric Oxide then activates the activity of Guanylyl cyclases. Guanylyl cyclases cause the formation of cyclic- GMP. Cyclic GMP in turn causes smooth muscle relaxation of corpus cavernous preventing the blood from leaving the penis.
The duration of action of Cyclic- GMP is controlled by the action of Phoshodiesterase (PDE). But Sildenafil inhibits or blocks PDE-5 which is responsible for the termination of cyclic-GMP in the corpus cavernous. Once PDE-5 is blocked, cyclic-GMP will continues to work to keep the muscles in the Penis stayed relaxed. This will cause the blood to stay longer in the Penis and thus the individual will be able to keep a firm and longer erection.
Thus the presence of Viagra results in an increase in duration of blood in the penis at any given level of sexual stimulation.
At recommended level Sildenafil has no effect in the absence of sexual stimulation or arousal. Thus a man has to be at least able to achieve some form of sexual arousal for Sildenafil to help him to achieve an erection that is firm enough for sexual intercourse.
Viagra should be taken approximately 1hr before anticipated sexual intercourse, although its benefit is observed up to 4hrs after it’s taken. It should not be used more than once per day. It’s rapidly absorbed after oral administration and peak plasma levels are achieved within one hr.
It is cleared from the body of older individuals at a much slower rate. Free plasma concentrations of Sildenafil are 40% higher in healthy individuals older than 65.
Viagra Side Effects Most Frequently Reported
- Headache
- Flushing
- Dyspepsia
- Nasal Congestion
- Disturbances in color vision (loss of blue/green discrimination) which is probably due to the inhibition of PDE- 6 ( a phosphodiesterase found in the retina that is imported in color vision). This also depend on the dose.
- Diarrhea
- Rash
- Dizziness
- Mild decrease in blood pressure
Conclusion
Based on all the above information, it might not be necessary to take Viagra for your sexual dysfunciont or sexual disorder issue. In certain circumstances sex therapy can help you to resolve the underlying problem associated with your sexual disorder. In a case wherein you are unable to achieve the slightest erection, viagra might not be able to help you.
Note: As defined by wikipedia:
1*Psychogenic cause is one that originates from the mind instead of another physical organ. Psychological rather than physiological.
2**Organic relates to a bodily organ. An organic condition is one which involves or affects physiology or bodily organs. A condition in which there is a physiological change to some tissue or organ of the body. Organic condition may also be
usedto mean a condition that is not caused by an infection.
This diagram represents a cross section of the Penis. It is composed of three cylindrical bodies of erectile cavernous tissue : The corpora cavernosa and corpus spongiosum which are enclosed by a fibrous capsule, the tunica albuginea.
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